I'm still playing badly- so badly, it's still too embarrassing to even blog about. I've begun playing in two tournaments a night, and all week, I've busted out within the first 30 minutes. Tonight and last night, I managed to bust out within the first 10 minutes. Last night, on the first hand.
The one silver lining to this lousy playing streak is that I can tell what I'm doing wrong. I'm sticking with drawing hands for too long. I'm playing decent (but not great) cards (like a pair of jacks or tens) or betting despite there being a flush draw on the board.
And to players whom I can see are fairly tight.
Oh, I've had a couple of bad beats with players who got lucky on the river. For the most part, though, I've risked all (or most) of my chips when I know I don't have the nuts (best possible hands). And I've gotten my ass kicked as a result.
As I think about it, this is pretty representative of my life at the moment.
I need to look harder for a job, but I'm not.
I need to exercise and clean up my diet for the sake of my health, but I'm not.
I need to take this extended period of "vacation" (i.e., unemployment) to get my head together, and I'm not.
This needs to stop. I certainly can't stay like this forever. And unlike other times in my life, I don't want to wait until my back's up against the wall.
What drives me crazy is that I truly believe I have the potential to succeed in all these areas of my life- if I'm willing to do the work. And I want to do the work- in an abstract sense. I just don't like doing it when it's time to actually do it.
Time to get my ass in gear, in poker and in life.