I played in another UltimateBet Be a Pro Freeroll tournament. Tonight I busted out in 126th place, which I consider a significant improvement.
At one point I was actually doing well, then I suffered a bad beat and went on tilt, betting when I should've been folding. I ended up losing most of my chips.
Which would pretty accurately describe my life, as of late. I just recently completed many, many years of graduate school and postgraduate training. Sunk a lot of my chips into it.
Only to realize that I don't want to do what people in my profession typically do. Rather than folding my hand and leaving graduate school once I realized I had rather unconventional career aspirations, I stuck it out.
Kept sinking more chips in. Oh, occasionally I won a major hand- experiencing the thrill of completing my degree, getting a postgraduate training position that looked fantastic, but I realize now, as I struggle to find a job, that I was actually just barely hanging in with an incredibly short stack.
In the tournament tonight, I played more aggressively, but I came to realize that I was too far behind. I mean, the average chip stack was in the 20,000 range, and I barely had 2,000. I was tempted to give up but forced myself to concentrate and continue trying to get more chips. That's a good thing, I guess, but I'd have been better off if I'd done that earlier, before I fell so far behind.
I've noticed that many people play loosely, win a lot of chips, and then bust out. More than half of the players busted out within the first 45 minutes. I managed to outlast them. But clearly, I need to take more chances. Not let myself get so short-stacked that anyone can call me because it will hardly cost them anything (compared to their own chip stacks).
So, don't let disappointment cripple me, always keep playing, and take more chances.
Why did I bother earning a PhD in psychology? I should have started playing poker 10 years ago.